He just can't help it...

Conversation. Of. The. Day

Katie is busy cleaning the house. Husband is sprawled on the couch and has been for several minutes.

Husband: Hey honey, what are you doing?
Katie: Cleaning the house. (sidelong glance) By myself.

Husband: (indignant) Not true! I helped.

Katie: Really? How?

Husband: I stacked the magazines on the coffee table five minutes ago.

Take THAT June Cleaver!

This sums up my "Tribute to June Cleaver Week."

Since I've taken the year off to write a book (really, I'm just stuck in the humid south for the summer, and then some, without a job so I've decided to use it as my year off to write my book) I've been forced to do a frightening amount of house-wifey stuff.

I've been annoyingly productive. (And I'm not one to use adverbs!)

 Laundry, mopping, organization, sweeping, dishes, more laundry, making beds, vacuuming and scrubbing toilets.

Shopping, grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, weeding the garden, training the dog, sweeping the stairs, more laundry.

Dusting, washing windows, cleaning the pantry.

You're getting the idea by now, right?

I'm not lying, it's been an identity issue for me.

Anyway, I harvested my garden and had tons of tomatoes. So I decided to follow in June's footsteps make homemade tomato sauce.

The blender turned itself on as soon as I took the lid off.

Ok, just kidding. I accidentally hit it.

Husband rejoiced.

I know the last picture is blurry but I put it up for Tara. 

Anyway, I felt like that summarized it as only I could summarize it.

And here's puppy, after I picked him up this morning. He did a lot of this for the first part of the day. Husband still tears up every time he sees that deflated little sac, and it does look a little sad.

BUT I'M NOT!

Goodbye, goodbye...

I would like to ask you to please observe a moment of silence.......

Ryker is losing his manhood this morning. Husband and Mikey have officially, and respectfully, withdrawn from life today in order to mourn.

Please contribute to your local Humane Society instead of sending flowers. 

Buzz Off!

Look at that face!

That's the face of a puppy that just got stung by bees 5 times on our hike today and was subsequently drugged by Benadryl and pieces of mom's Subway. It was a surprise frontal assault. Those flying little soldiers were sneaky.

From a distance, it probably looked like we were beating our dog. We'd whack the nasty bee's off and start running to get away but they'd follow. He kept trying to hide between my legs to get away because no matter what we did there the little suckers were, attacking. 

I'd probably be laughing more at his current floppiness if I didn't feel so bad for the poor guy.

.....Ok, I'm laughing.

Pensacola, anyone?

Let the pictures speak for themselves...

This was outside a baptist church so large we mistook it for a Super Wal-Mart

Quasimodo: A Timeline

Happy Damn Independence Day Husband.

It's reminiscent of your birthday when you broke your finger, and that random day that started out well and ended up with a canned chicken attack and me treating for shock.

Husband came blasting into the house, swearing at the top of his lungs in the midst of my trifleing experiment (mines on the right... looks deelish, no? They were out of blueberries, stupid store. I was trying to be patriotic, but gave up. My husband is in the Army and I still like our country despite the retards that run it, so it's as patriotic as it gets. Our big celebration for the 4th was taking an early morning nap, and also getting an afternoon one! But I digress...) mad as a hornet. 

Literally. He had just gotten bit by one. 

In.

The.

Face.

His annoyance here was that it looked like a zit on his nose but I still wanted a picture.

Kudos to me for getting the 'before' picture and enabling the coolest progression timeline of facial swelling EVAH!!

3 minutes later....

5-8 minutes later.....

14 minutes from bite-time...

I lost track of time here. Actually, I just made those other times up. I have no idea what the times were.

Just like to send a big shout out to Ryker, who was a tremendous help during the process with his continual whining and barking for lack of attention.

You were a real lifesaver, dog.

Another big thanks to our other contributors, namely Cindy-Mom, Web MD and Verizon, for providing the phone service. Much gratitude to Benadryl, which eventually made him groggy enough I could force some Advil on him without too much fight. And to ice packs everywhere.

You sure do save face.

The tortoise-ish, not the hare.

Check this guy out!

I found him on a walk the other day. Isn't he great? I didn't know turtles just strolled around.

I guess the south has a few benefits. The heat index of 115 makes me require reminders.