Conversation. Of. The. Day.
Katie's Version.
Katie: HUNNY! Didn't anybody teach you how to eat gushers? One at a time! They're supposed to explode in your mouth! You're supposed to enjoy them.
Scene: (Wal Mart parking lot. Vehicle- Toyota Tacoma that is most definitely named Taki.
They have not left yet. Shopping bags litter the backseat, nasty people walking around with cheap cammo and Tennesseean accents. It's dark outside. A lone box of brand new fruit gushers sits between them. )
They have not left yet. Shopping bags litter the backseat, nasty people walking around with cheap cammo and Tennesseean accents. It's dark outside. A lone box of brand new fruit gushers sits between them. )
Katie: Here hunny, here's the gushers you had to have. (Lovingly opens a package for him. Husband takes said gusher package and noms one gusher down.)
Husband: Thanks hunny, these are so good. (Extends package towards Katie.) Would you like one?
(Katie takes one gusher because that's what everyone in the world know's you're supposed to do when you're sharing gushers.)
Katie: Thanks hunny.
(Husband empties entire package into mouth and hands it empty back to his starving wife, Katie, who was barely hanging on to dear life from malnutrition.)
Husband: dflkjo adkfo nkwelrod (translation- oh, they're exploding.)
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COTD
Conversation. Of. The. Day.
Husband's Version.
Check it out...this is how it really went down. We went to Wal-Mart to get a few food items...but of course while we're there Katie grabs random things from the shelves, like baby food, or some new ingredient she suddenly remembered having a coupon for or reading in some recipe online. Anyway, she had grabbed half a dozen things...so I said to myself, "self...you work hard to bring home the income for this humble family, why don't you grab something off the shelf too?" So what was in front of me at the time?...that's right, Gushers.
Back to the truck, which is NOT named Taki, (who names their truck after a Greek dude in a chick flick?)
My dear, sweet wife pulls out the box of Gushers as I'm pulling out of the parking lot and hands them to me (which is obviously a sign that the little bag is for me, otherwise she would have taken a few before giving me the bag.) Despite this, I still offer her some...and she took a Gusher. Now I mentally commended her for sticking to her healthy diet and only indulging a little. So, naturally, I want to help my wife and decide the best thing I can do is remove any further temptation...so down goes the rest of the bag....and yes, I would have slowly enjoyed them had I not been driving down the most dangerous street in Clarksville with young Privates on their crotch rockets flying by and old hicks weaving back and forth between lanes in their rusted-out Chevy's that are billowing black smoke.
My dear, sweet wife pulls out the box of Gushers as I'm pulling out of the parking lot and hands them to me (which is obviously a sign that the little bag is for me, otherwise she would have taken a few before giving me the bag.) Despite this, I still offer her some...and she took a Gusher. Now I mentally commended her for sticking to her healthy diet and only indulging a little. So, naturally, I want to help my wife and decide the best thing I can do is remove any further temptation...so down goes the rest of the bag....and yes, I would have slowly enjoyed them had I not been driving down the most dangerous street in Clarksville with young Privates on their crotch rockets flying by and old hicks weaving back and forth between lanes in their rusted-out Chevy's that are billowing black smoke.
BPOTD=Best.Post.Of.The.Day.
ReplyDeleteLove the whole he said/she said thing!